SBU

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Diary of A Bad Girl

School
Journal of A Bad ^ Girl

School Day

5.45 a.m. It's pitch black.. Like ZERO visibility. My rebellious body is complaining, my eyes are slits and my brain is still in a coma. It's what,5.45 in the freaking morning. More like night, if you ask me. And it's a MONDAY. The hands down winner of Worst Day of The Week Award. Nominees include Sundays(after 5 p.m.) as they're, like, the intro act to Black Mondays and Thursdays, being obstacles before Gorgeous Friday. There's no way I'm getting out of bed yet. Especially since I was having a really warm and fuzzy dream. Let's just say Orlando was involved. Mmmm.....I hit snooze.

5.50 a.m. Abuse snooze button.

5.55 a.m. Play Hit the Snooze Button

6.00 a.m. Repeat

6.05 a.m. Beep.Beep beep.Beep beep beep .BEEP BEEPBEEP!!Ok, I'm up! Happy now? Shut up!!!! (Clock hits neighbor's cat square in the bum. Yowling ensues. Not bad for someone who's practically comatose.)

6.06 a.m. In irritatingly peachy-pink bathroom.. AAARRRGH!! There is an undead in here! I'm too young to die! My life(such as it is) flashes before my eyes. Oh wait...That's my reflection.Oops.

6.30 a.m. Spent past 5 minutes contemplating suicide. Or faking severe illness. Anything. Just so I can SLEEP. But it's too late. I'm awake. So now I stare at a yellow, mucousy substance on my plate. I think it's supposed to be scrambled eggs. Or a really huge booger. Possibly an attempt to poison me. Not like I'd mind. School, death or hospitalization? No contest, obviously. Anything but school.

6.45 a.m. Am in car being subjected to Godawful wailing masquerading as holy chants, courtesy of Mum, aka Hitler. Then a switch to woman lecturing on importance of vitamins, teamwork or similar nonsense. Zzzz...

7.15 a.m. Crap! Hair is not fixed! Crap!

7.20 a.m. Right. Hair fixed. Panic over. Completely composed.

7.30 a.m. Why do they do this to us? What wrong have we committed? Why, why, O Powers That Be, are we expected to sing joyfully at this desolate hour??? Is Starbucks open? I DON"T THINK SO!!

7.40 a.m. Hmm. Think I shall catch some z's while they "enlighten" us onstage. Whatever.

7.45 a.m. Aaah! Friggin',snotty, prefect! The last time I checked, sleeping was sooo not forbidden. Alright, I should 'set an example for the younger students'. Right. Shall listen attentively.

7.50 a.m. Oh God. Babble.Babblebabblebibblebobblemumbojumbo.....

8.05 a.m. Finally. The audio torture ends. Thank You Lord, for ending this cruelty. Yay! I can talk to the girls. The bad thing about being late-ish is that I sit behind the stage, so I can't speak to them. The good thing is that I'm behind the stage, so the pontificating is muffled.

9.10 a.m. I'm with Syazi, Suzanne, Pui Sun, Nik and Ee Von(the evil witch who has forced me to write this.) Jo will join us later. She's currently striking fear(or at least panic) into the hearts of naughty students. Or whatever it is nice prefects do. Discussion of Troy, Orlando's general gorgeousness, chocolate, Hoobastank and new books going on simultaneously. This is when being a girl is totally in your favour. We can talk AND listen at the same time. Not like boys with single-track minds. Hah!

8.40 a.m. Oh. There's a teacher in class. Where'd she come from? Whatever. As I was saying.......

9.30 a.m. Moral. Please. Biggest educational sham of the century. Like memorizing values is actually going to turn us into angels. I mean, look at me. See a halo? Nope. Wings? Nada . Harp? Zilch. Told ya.

10.10 a.m. Freedom! It's short, but hey, I'm desperate. Wouldn't you be?

10.30a.m. Why doesn't time move like this in class? I can't leave, I'm still reading! Nooooo...

10.40 a.m. History. Dead cities, cultures, people, music, knowledge, languages, fashion. Wow. The Ministry really knows how to turn a girl on. I'm getting more and more....sleepy. And depressed. Deceased, decomposed and departed thingies everywhere. Eww.

11.50 a.m. Stop shaking me! I wanna sleep!

11.55 a.m. That was darling Syazi. She wants a cake for her mum's birthday. And now Suz wants one too. Lazy imps. So-cakes. Their mums. Next Monday. Right. Got everything? Good. Night y'all.

12.00 p.m. English. What the government and various misguided persons term English. It's a disgrace. Singaporean primary schoolkids dream of sitting for SPM papers. On behalf of my country, I am so, so, ashamed.

1.10 p.m. Math. Zzzzzz

2.30 p.m. I'M OUTTA HERE!!!

2.35 p.m. In 7-11. Coke. Glorious, blessed coke. Caffeine. Finally.

3.40 p.m. Home after running around mall. Have new CDs. And homework.. I think. Can't remember.

3.45 p.m. I love Nickelback!

4 p.m. Still loving Nickelback.

4.30 p.m. Shoot. Time to see evil otherwise known as dentist.

5.30 p.m. Drooling like mad dog. Anesthesia both a blessing and curse. If I really felt dentist poking around in my mouth I'd probably shatter glass with my screams.

6.00 p.m. In Cold Storage, Great Eastern Mall. I lurve this place. For some unknown reason. Could be all the budget-busting food.

6.20 p.m. In Starbucks attaining caffeine jolt. Anesthesia wearing off. Can talk to people normally.

7.00 p.m. Hmm. What do I feed this family of mine? I'm thinking grilled ginger -lemonchicken with béarnaise sauce and grilled peppers and aubergines. Let's get to it then.

7.30 p.m. Bugger.**%$%^##%!!

7.35 p.m. That would be because of my mum." Something came up darling, I have to go!" I COULD"VE ORDERED PIZZA! I COULD'VE GONE OUT WITH MY FRIENDS!!WASTED!!!

7.40 p.m. Chicken is good though.

8.30 p.m. I just finished showering. I think that's sufficient information.

8.40 p.m. God, I love David Eddings.

10.00 p.m. Umm, where'd the time go?

10.05 p.m. Shopaholic ROCKS!!

11.30 p.m. Oops. Parents are back.

11.40 p.m. Reading by torchlight. Feel like some Enid Blyton school-girl character.

12.30 a.m. Davvi is EVIL. What kind of friend calls at midnight and says "You will die in seven dayssss" I ask you.

1.00 a.m. I.AM.GOING.TO.BED.EE VON.IT'S MORE THAN A DAY ALREADY!

Saturday

9.00 a.m. What possessed me to have tuition at this time? It’s the weekend! I should be doing something fun….like freezing my dad’s false teeth.( which reminds me, I haven’t done that for eons)

11.00 a.m. Tuition’s over!! Now I can go to KLCC. Finally, somewhere civilized.

12.00 p.m. Am in the loooooongest movie queue of the century. I need coke. Now!

12.10 p.m. Have tickets. Show starts at 1.10 pm. That gives me an hour to shop.

1.00 p.m. Think arms will fall off soon. But worth it. The clothes are so gorgeous. Wen is going to be rainbow-coloured with envy. And the candles smell divine. I actually can’t wait to get home so I can light one. Davvi is complaining that I’ve bought too much stuff. Guys…they just DON”T GET IT.

1.05 p.m. Pit stop in Isetan for junk food and coke.

1.15 p.,. In theatre. I hope I don’t drop anything.

1.16 p.m. Can you believe it? Some loser is in MY seat. Get lost, jerk!

1.17 p.m. Guys can be useful occasionally. All they have to do is sort of loom over the offender and they(bad person) lose their nerve.
P.S. Only works if loomer is bigger than loomie.

3.30 p.m. I LOVE ORLANDO BLOOM AND ERIC BANA! They make guys in skirts look hot! Brad goes without saying. How many men are capable of looking delicious in what is essentially a wrap-around skirt? Just name me ONE( other than Brad, of course). The male sector of the audience is not as appreciative. Men, So predictable. It’s called JEALOUSY.

4.30 p.m. Just bankrupted myself in Kinokuniya. How can I resist R.A. Salvatore? Or the chick lit section?

5.00 p.m. On the way home. My feet are killing me. See, guys, this is what girls do to look pretty. So you’d better appreciate the effort we put into our appearance and ACKNOWLEDGE it. Got that? ‘Cause if you don’t, you don’t deserve to get any. EVER.

5.30 p.m. Home now. Have to hide stuff before parents return or they’ll hit the roof and keep going.

6.00 p.m. All this exercise has exhausted me. I need more practice. Think I’ll have a nap before dinner.

6.10 p.m. Nap aborted!*sniff* Tonight is some old geezer’s 90th birthday. This party is going to be so lively. Visions of dried up old prunes in designer clothes swinging their metal hips and waving diamond-knobbed walking sticks feebly (it’d be enthusiastically but I think their arms might snap) to songs by equally aged/ dead singers while caretakers/offspring hover close by like flies over carrion( they’re going to be dead meat soon anyway) to prevent them from falling out of their gold-plated Zimmers fill my mind. Please please please let me die a sift and painless death at an appropriate age ( as in, before I begin to check obituaries to see how my friends are doing). At least the venue’s ok. Haven’t been to Carcosa in a while.

6.15 p.m. What do I wear???? There is absolutely NOTHING in my wardrobe. Black skirt? Too short. Don’t want to cause any cases of apoplexy followed by death. You never know with old people. Even a movie can have them sprouting daisies. Or hibiscus in Malaysia. Blue dress? Can’t. Ripped the back climbing. Don’t ask. Pants? Puh-leez. Eyebrows( if they haven’t fallen out already)will be raised and lips pursed, followed by a hiss/sniff of disapproval. And THE WORDS: In my day, women did not wear pants. They dressed appropriately and femininely.
I’m sure they did. In skins.

6. 35 p.m. I HATE MY MUM. I am wearing a CHEONGSAM. A PINK cheongsam. ‘But you look so sweet in it!’ I need to hurl.

7.10 p.m. We’re here. And I am simmering. My mum took my earrings out. Every last one of them. It was my last stand against sweetness and cuteness! Hitler should have met my mum. She’d out-Nazi him with her eyes shut.

7.30 p.m. Concentrate on the bright side.(What?!?) Old people need to go beddie-bye early.

7.35 p.m. The decorations are quite nice, actually. And the menu is acceptable. Starter of dry-cured meats on young greens salad or seared scallops with mandarin vinaigrette followed by French onion soup or Oxtail stew. Main course is the usual selection of fish, fowl and meat. Dessert sounds yummy. Molten chocolate cakes with vanilla-cinnamon ice-cream or crepe suzette or bread and butter pudding, ending with a cheese board, truffles and coffee or tea.

7.40 p.m. There is another person below 20. Yes!!! Someone who is in the same boat.

7.45 p.m. If one more person says I look cute/sweet/adorable, I will not be responsible for my actions.

8.00 p.m. Name of fellow sufferer is Bryan. He’s a descendant of the Old Man. He helped with the menu and décor. I am suitably impressed. Hmmm, highly attractive, intelligent, sense of style, clearly solvent ( witness Armani suit) and does not have bad breath Now, important question: Is he single?

8.05 p.m. Dinner has started. He’s sitting with his family, so I’m between two old people. Mum, sister and Dad opposite.

8.30 p.m. I cannot believe it! 10 minutes into dinner the old biddies are match-making! I want to choke on something and die RIGHT NOW. They’re Bryan’s grand-aunts. Guess who they want me to marry?

8. 40 p.m. Oh God. They’re summoning him. ( I really mean summon. These ladies have power!)

8.45 p.m. Thankfully, it was not humiliating at all. They asked(ordered) him to dance with me after dinner. Then they said to me” if you don’t mind, dear?’ As if I’d mind.

9.00 p.m. Ran into Bryan on way to washroom. Conversation:
Me : So, do they tell you to dance with every girl?
Him : Yeah, pretty much. It’s irritating most of the time, but they’re my relatives. (Ouch!)
Me : Most of the time?
Him : I don’t mind if the girl’s pretty..
Me ( with scarlet face) : So do you mind now? (Please be a good answer. Say no!)
Him : No this time.
I escaped to the loo just before I lost all ability to talk.

9.40 p.m. Dancing with Bryan.

10.00 p.m. In gardens. Still dancing.( the party spilled over to the verandah. We’re not misbehaving. Yet.;p)

10.10 p.m. He’s nice to talk to as well.

11.00 p.m. It’s time to leave. I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE!!!

11.05 p.m. Said bye to Bryan with grace and dignity (maybe I’m finally growing up!) . He asked me to give him a missed call when I get back so he can call me. Then he walked me to the door. Chivalry lives!!

11.40 p.m. I’m home. What I say on the phone is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Goodbye and goodnight.

HOLIDAY!!!!!

9.00 a.m. Standing in front of bathroom mirror, attempting to recall reason for LOTR movie marathon accompanied by bodyweight in Coke yesterday. Nope, sanity is not in today. But who cares? IT’S THE FIRST DAY OF THE HOLIDAYS!!

9.30 a.m. In Etoile with cousins who look much worse than I do. Serves them right for drinking that much alcohol. Really, males have no restraint whatsoever, They revive visibly at the sight of breakfast.

11.00 a.m. In the middle of MAGIC card game. I’m being slaughtered by my cuzzie’s stupid(as in,it’s not helping ME) Rukh Egg deck . I want that deck!! It’s gorgeous.. The original ed, not Eighth.

11.10 a.m. Hah. Just revived all my creature cards from graveyard. Ladies and gentlemen, the tide of battle is turning.

11.20 a.m. I win!! Overkill of 16,too. He owes me a Mox. Mwa haha..

12.00 p.m. We’re in KLCC. The boys want to watch Van Helsing cuz they’ve got the hots for Kate Beckinsdale. I want to watch because her “brother “ is cute.

12.15 p.m. Could the line be any longer?? I’ll be able to drive before we buy our tickets.

1.00 p.m. Lunch at Dome, Chinoz, CPK or San Francisco Steakhouse? I’m thinking Mandarin Oriental’s Grill..

1.10 p.m. …and we’re at the Grill. I am soo psychic. Or something.

2.30 p.m. In movie.

4.30 p.m. We’re in Studio R. I’m currently salivating over T-Mac 3. I want………

5.00 p.m. I’m holding a bag with T-Macs in it. Unfortunately, they’re my cousin’s.

5.30 p.m. The adults (Read: parents) want to have dinner at San Fran. So we have 2 hours to kill. What should I do?

5. 31 p.m. Wow. My cousin’s new gf is gorgeous. How did he do that? Does she know he snores like a train and sleeps like the dead? Oops. I’m TRYING VERY HARD NOT to visualize the circumstances in which she discovers some of his many deficiencies. I’m leaving them alone now.

5.40 p.m. What should I do with myself?

5.45 p.m. Ooh. Nail art. Ok, I’m in.

7.00p.m. I love my new nails!! They’re black with small white and light pink flowers. Wen will be so jealous.

7.05 p.m. Think I’ll stay in Kino until it’s 7.30.

7.10 p.m. Did you know that you can order the Kama Sutra? Well, now you do . And so do I. Maybe I’ll get it for Syazi’s birthday…her eyes will pop right out. ;)

7.35 p.m. In restaurant. Adults are doing the usual stuff. You know, QUESTIONS.

8.00 p.m. Yadda yadda yadda ‘ And so I said to His Royal Pompousness Prince Dumpling…” quack. Thank God I can sms Bunny.

8.05p.m. The poor boy’s going through the same torture. Ah well, too bad.

10.00 p.m. The ordeal is FINALLY OVER. Good. I want to go home and whoop my cousin’s @$$ at MAGIC again. Who says girls can’t play ?

11.00p.m. I lost…*sniff* I demand a rematch.

12.30 a.m. We’re both on 19. Oh God the suspense!

12.50 a.m. I killed him. Yay!!( am performing little victory dance) Now I can Rest In Peace.;p

P.S. = I do not know this person.