dead

I can't freegin sleep, and in less then 36 hours I managed to kill myself and hurt all the people that actually matter to me. Am I good at this? Very. I'm the best there is, second to none, I'm number one. This is so depressing... I'm actually contemplating suicide for the first time. Though I know I have absolutely no guts whatsoever to carry it out.

I am so so bad at making decisions in a relationship I should win a Nobel prize. Hmm, no, that doesn't sound right. I deserve to be burned in the fiery pit of hell for causing pain. I'm very good at that too.

Trying not to remember things or I'll never sleep. Not that it's a bad thing, not sleeping. When I stay up overnight I get sick. Down with fever. Yay. So I'll just stay home sick for Christmas. Do I care? Not a bit. I love drowning in guilt and misery caused by non other that yours truly. For once this blog skin echos my mood. Black, dark, and empty.

What better way to end the holiday season. Julian is not talking to me, my best friend thinks I'm crazy and Keith begging me to stay.



I THINK I'LL GO RUIN MORE LIVES NOW. CHEERS.