i wonder

There has always been something tugging my mind and heartstrings. It is often forgotten, but it resurfaces, especially after camps with strangers. When you go to a camp, and at first you are all alone, or with a sibling, you make some friends whom you feel really click with. And you think, well, I want these people to be in my life all the time. But somehow, everybody drifts apart, and as you lie in bed and stare at the merciless white ceiling, you wondered why it didn't last, when it all seemed perfect.

The 6th Kiwanis Youth Camp was what got me really thinking. It was probably because it was my first camp without the familiar faces and serene understanding. For the first time in my life, I was alone. But somehow they managed to open me up. I was 12, they were teens and early adults. Clicking was unnatural, but for me, it happened. And I promised that we would always stay in touch the day we parted... But we never did. Not anymore.

Even now, I feel my OBS friends flirting away with time. And we spent nearly every waking hour of 10 days together. It was OK for the first year after camp. And the second. Now... its starting to get awkward. I hate it. I really do.

I was just wondering... Just wondering. Will all the friendships I make outside end this way? Because if that's the case, then whats the damn point of making them. Or why bother going at all?? Isn't there anyone who would last?? Wait guys. Don't say anything. Time will tell... For now and always.