Collision de Passion

Alright, lets see, where do I begin? Comfortable position, check. Bottle of water, check. Keyboard in sufficient working order, check. Perfect vision, check. Brains, check. Now, let me begin… Well, to know me, the first thing that should be clear is my name. How else shall I be addressed otherwise, no? My name is Chew Aileen. I was born in Subang Jaya Medical Center as a nearly hairless bawling imp. I was told that my grandmother did not like the shape of my nose. Said it was small and flat.

I remembered not wanting to grow up. To be loved and pampered all my life seemed just perfect. Playing with my mountain of toys and imagining myself to be a Barbie princess of some sort. But then I was sent to school, and it all changed. I was packed off to Bukit Bintang Girl School. There, I was a wallflower. There was nothing spectacular about myself that could or should be flaunted to the world. I had no reason to like it there. I spent two kindergarten years in Sekolah Sri Garden, a private school, and was rather dismalled by the obvious antiqueness of the building. With grime making the beige walls look brown and grey, it had an air of eeriness, and was quite intimidating. I was quite smart, but lazy. That was what my teacher told my mother in my third year. Chubby and rather subdued, I only had my two best friends. With them, I began enjoying my surroundings. We claimed we could see ghosts in the compound, and the seniors did not allay our fears, telling us that at the grounds, there once stood a hospital, where many people died during the Japanese Occupation. Somehow, we managed to have fun. Both my best friends are still people whom I hold close to my heart. Looking back, it has been a long journey. But somehow, time works in wondrous ways. Seconds seem like hours, but years fly by.

My most drastical change came when I was in Year Six. Our school had just moved to Cheras, and for the first time, there would be boys. I was a school prefect then, and found the boys extremely mischievous, hard to handle and therefore a challenge to control. However, I did make a number of wonderful, robust new friends. And due to one special friend at that time, I became more spontaneous, adventurous, sporting, cheerful. I learnt to express myself more. I learnt to smiled more, because then the world smiles with you, don’t you agree? Unfortunately, we have grown distant over the years. But when I look back, I smile to myself. I would not, and could not change who I am and who I’ve been. But most importantly, I cherish who I have become.

So I passed my Ujian Peperiksaan Sekolah Rendah (UPSR) with flying colours. With 5A’s, I strode into SMK Seri Bintang Utara with confidence. My old school was just next door after all. This time, I planned to achieve all that is within my ability. My goal was to experiment, to dream. And dream I did. I tried the Swimming Club, Scouts, and the Humanitarian Club. I was even chosen as a probate for Librarian (Library Prefect). I even joined the inter-house cheerleading competitions that year. In Form Two, I joined the Unit Bimbingan Sekolah (Counseling Unit), Fencing and Taekwondo. I ran for my house and grabbed a few medals. I won bronze for my first sparring tournament.

In Form Three, I slowed down my activities, though I did try short distance running for MSSKL. I shan’t say that the Penilaian Menengah Rendah (PMR) was an easy stint, because it wasn’t. It was hard work, with blood, sweat, and tears all over. I revised with my friends until I wished the real exam would come sooner so that we could all just get through with it once and for all, and never have to look PMR in its face ever again.

Thankfully, my hard work paid off. Straight A’s donned my slip, and my parents were so proud of me, and that was enough. Our school was ranked number one in Cheras, and we were awarded with bountiful harvests of our labour. Victory is indeed sweet. With sugar, spices, and everything nice.

So now, I step into Form Four. I was put in the top science class, to my extreme horror. But I now enjoy the experience very much, despite the unbearable workload. I hold many posts, and I solemnly swear I am not bragging. Recently appointed at Head of the Librarians Gathering/Carnival 2007, I have to foresee that everything is in tiptop shape. Using the money I received for my PMR results, I got myself a camera in order to fulfil my duty as an Editorial Board Photographer. I was appointed Assistant Secretary for the Fencing Club and Taekwondo. For Unit Bimbangan Sekolah, I am the Assistant of Trips (Biro Lawatan). Therefore, our annual trip has to be planned by my head and myself. For my sports house, I am a cheerleader once more. Sometimes its hard, and I wonder why I got myself in this mess. But then, the thrill of pushing it to the limit is just too tempting. It beckons to me, come what may, I shall raise my head up high, take a deep, ragged breath, and push through it all.

Thankfully, I have a loving family who supports me when it gets difficult. My parents have been the most wonderful people, and will always be. They always remind me, that however bad I am, my family will always be there. And they will always, always, welcome me with open arms. Being the eldest, the pressure is there. To be a good example, to teach my two brothers what is right, what is wrong, and everything else in between. Nevertheless, it isn’t really difficult to relate to them, although sometimes they are a pain, like most siblings are. In my humble opinion, my family is what I’d call an ‘truly Malaysian family’. We have, of course, Chinese people in the equation. But then we also have Muslims and Indians as well! There was one incident, when I was walking with my cousins after celebrating our grandmothers 81st birthday, one of them commented on the current situation. He said, ‘Eh, we don’t look like cousins la, all of us so different. No wonder the people are staring at us!’ Indeed, we were joking about, the four of us. One Chinese, one Muslim and two Indian youths hanging out in the evening, talking and joking in loud voices. We burst out laughing at the irony of the situation, after comparing our skin colour. Which attracted even more stares.

Moreover, I am thankful to have been exposed to many activities, workshops and camps. I was recently awarded a Diploma in Pianoforte at JW Marriot and am simply ecstatic with ecstasy at the thought of the upcoming convocation! To top this year up, I shall attend a Poomsae Seminar on the 27^th to 30^th March and shall sit for an exam. If the light of the Lord shines upon me, and the angels sing above me on the 31^st March, I shall hopefully be upgraded to State Poomsae Referee. Because of my love for reading and writing, I attended a Creative Writing Workshop in 2004 and a Young Reporters Workshop in 2005, and I loved it! It was really eye-opening when we had to interview random people at Bangsar Shopping Village and producing a report at the end of the day. I have also been to Outward Bound School, which I found myself lethargic but still smiling at the end of the day. What can I say? I love the outdoors! Minus the leeches. I was at the 6^th and 9^th Kiwanis Youth Camp. My head is reeling right now, it is hard to say which I loved the most because I embrace them all!

I hope the reader isn’t sleeping right now due to my antics. Wake up because here come my aspirations! Since I am a rather compassionate person by nature, I thought of going into medicine, because that would allow me to care for people as well as applying science in my career. My second choice so far is Mass Communication, because I love journalism, and photography would be an added bonus. I actually hope to become a Star reporter. No kidding. Well, yet again, there’s also Animation. Just imagine, creating something without limits, without borders. Something you couldn’t do with actors and a reel of film, you could bring to life in a screen. The possibilities are endless! However, I feel quite strongly for nature as well, and wanted to become a conservationist or environmentalist when I was a little younger. Or perhaps, a wildlife photographer? To capture those moments so many others can learn to appreciate the abundance of life on earth…

This is currently confusing me. I love doing so many things, yet I know it is not possible to perform all those tasks, and no matter how much I like taking things to the limit, I know it is just not possible, not at all. Perhaps time will tell what suits me best, and that some idle light bulb on top of my head will light up and enlighten me. Then I would go ‘Yes! That is what I want!’ and nod vigorously. Till then, I am content to live life to the fullest and see the glass as always half full. Be it to the point where I can look up into the azure sky, close my eyes and feel the soot from the abundant carbon monoxide mixed with the dust particles to form the wind that washes over my being and sting my eyes till I shed tears and smell dirt. And still be able to delude myself that a cool, soothing breeze is caressing me and thank God for all that I have been given. And then I would open my eyes and look toward the horizon, ready to face tomorrow and beyond.

~ only select few know what I'm talking about. Ken, post yours too! ~