email.

Dear Bloggers and Visitors, I was sent this email by a friend of mine, and I think it is very, very meaningful and thought-provoking. Never mind its political incorrectness. For your information, I do not only blog about myself and my life, for it would appear self-centered.

I have been meaning to pen some of my thoughts for some time now, to let
people actually read the views of the typical 'overseas Malaysian' who is
kept away. I realise that my e-mail is rather long, but I do hope that
you
would consider publishing it, and also keep my name private.

I shall start by telling you a little about my background. Mine is a
rather
sad tale -- of a young Malaysian full of hope and patriotic enthusiasm,
which is slowly but surely dissipating.
I am very different from many other non-Bumiputeras as I was given
tremendous opportunities throughout my childhood. Born into a
middle-class
Chinese but English-speaking family, I grew up with all the privileges of
imported books, computers, piano/violin lessons and tuition teachers.
My parents insisted that I should be exposed to a multi-racial education
in
a national school. In my time, my urban national school (a missionary
school) was a truly happy place -- where the Malays, Chinese and Indian
students were roughly equal in proportion. We played and laughed with
each
other and studied the history of the world together during Form 4, with
one
interesting chapter dedicated to Islamic history.

Though 75% of my teachers were Malays I never really noticed. My Malay
teachers were the kindest to me -- teaching me well and offering me every
possible opportunity to develop. I led the district teams in the English
and Bahasa Malaysia debating competitions. I was the only non-Malay
finalist in the Bahasa Malaysian state-level elocution competition. My
Malay teachers encouraged me to transfer to a government residential
school
sekolah berasrama penuh) so as to enable me to maximise my academic potential. I refused because I was happy where I was, so they made me
head
prefect and nominated me as a 'Tokoh Pelajar Kebangsaan'. Till this day I
am absolutely certain it was the kindness of all my Malay teachers which
made me a true Malaysian.

I excelled at school and was offered a Singaporean government scholarship
to study overseas. I turned it down because I wanted to ensure I would
remain a 'true Malaysian' in the eyes of Malaysia. So I accepted a
Malaysian government scholarship to study at Oxford University.
Throughout
my three years as an undergraduate the officers at the MSD looked after
me
very well and were always there to offer support.

I graduated with first class honours and was offered a job with a leading
nvestment bank. The JPA released me from my bond so as to enable me to
develop my potential. I shall always be grateful for that. I worked hard
and rose up the ranks. My employer sent to me to Harvard University for
postgraduate studies and I climbed further up the ladder.

Now I am 31 years old and draw a comfortable monthly salary of US$22,000.
Yet I yearn to return home. I miss my home, my family, my friends, my
Malaysian hawker food and the life in Malaysia. I have been asked many
times by Singaporean government agencies to join them on very lucrative
terms, but I have always refused due to my inherent patriotism.

I really want to return home. I have been told by government-linked
corporations and private companies in Malaysia that, at best, I would
still
have to take a 70% pay cut if I return to Malaysia to work. I am prepared
and willing to accept that. My country has done a lot for me so I should
not complain about money.

However, of late, my idealistic vision of my country has really come
crashing down, harder and faster than ever before.

I read about the fiascos involving non-Bumiputera top scorers who are
denied entry to critical courses at local universities and are offered
forestry and fisheries instead. (My cousin scored 10 A1s for SPM and yet
I read about UMNO Youth attacking the so-called meritocracy system
because
there are less than 60% Malay students in law and pharmacy whilst
conveniently keeping silent about the fact that 90% of overseas
scholarship
recipients are Malays and that Malays form the vast majority in courses
like medicine, accountancy and engineering at local universities.

I read about the Higher Education Minister promising that non-Bumiputera
Malaysians will never, ever step foot into UiTM.

I read about a poor Chinese teacher's daughter with 11 A1s being denied a
scholarship, while I know some Malay friends who scored 7 As and whose
parents are millionaires being given scholarships.

I read about the brilliant Prof. K.S. Jomo who was denied a promotion to
Senior Professor (not even to Head of Department) although he was backed
by
references from three Nobel Prize winners. Of course, his talent is
recognised by a prestigious appointment at the United Nations.

I read about UMNO Youth accusing Chinese schools of being detrimental to
racial integration while demanding that Mara Junior Science Colleges and
other residential schools be reserved for only Malays.

I read about the Malay newspaper editors attacking the private sector for
not appointing enough Malays to senior management level whilst insisting
that the government always ensure that Malays dominate anything
government-related.

I read that at our local universities not a single Vice-Chancellor or
Deputy Vice-Chancellor is non-Malay.

I read that in the government not a single Secretary-General of any
ministry is non-Malay. The same goes for all government agencies like the
police, armed forces, etc.

I read about UMNO screaming for the Malay Agenda while accusing everyone
else of racism for whispering about equality.

I read about a poor Indian lady having to pay full price for a low-cost
house after being dispossessed from a plantation whilst Malay
millionaires
demand their 10% Bumiputera discount when buying RM2 million bungalows in
a
gated community.

I read about my beloved national schools becoming more and more Islamic
by
the day, enforced by overzealous principals.

I read about my Form 4 World History (Sejarah Dunia) syllabus, which now
contains only one chapter of world history, with Islamic history covering
the rest of the book.
As I read all this I tremble with fear. I love my country and long to
return. I am willing to take a 70% pay cut. I am willing to face a
demotion. I honestly want to contribute my expertise in complex financial
services and capital markets. But really, is there a future for me, for
my
children and for their children? I am truly frightened.

I can deal with the lack of democracy, the lack of press freedom, the
ISA,
our inefficient and bureaucratic civil service, our awful manners, and
even
a little corruption. But I cannot deal with racism in my homeland.

I think this is the single biggest factor which is keeping people like me
away. And bear in mind, there are so many of us (researchers, scientists,
bankers, economists, lawyers, academics, etc.). What people read about in
Malaysia (like Dr Terence Gomez) is but the tiniest tip of the iceberg.
You
will be amazed to know about Malaysians denied JPA scholarships (which
would have made them civil servants), took loans to attend Ivy League
universities, but who are later asked to advise our government (on IT,
economics, etc.) at fees running to millions of US dollars. Such
information will never be published because it is politically incorrect.

As a Christian, I pray for God's blessing on this great country of ours.
I
pray that He blesses our leaders with the foresight and humanity to see
that this will not work and cannot continue. I pray they will have the
strength to make our country a home for all Malaysians plus they will
have
mercy on the poor, including the non-Malays. I pray for true racial
harmony
and acceptance (not just tolerance) in Malaysia.
Yours sincerely,
A very frightened Malaysian abroad


*email ends*

If we are a democratic country, why are there such things like Bumiputra discounts and privilages when everyone is supposedly equal?

I myself try to be patriotic. But in my view, as the countries foundations weaken, it is no longer sane to live here as a non-Bumiputra. This cannot go on. As centuries grow older, more eyes, minds and hearts are opened. People demand more rights, and are equally aware of it.

As our nation strives to 'berdiri sama tinggi, duduk sama rendah' with other leading nations, the sights to behold increase. But deep in its hearts core lies our faithfulness, gratitude and undying loyalty. Without this, Malaysia's foundations will shake and finally fall. And this nations heart is blackening, it is dying.

Our country is dying. Silently, slowly. Addressing the problem will not solve it. Action will. When will they realise that they are making a hideous mistake? And if they do, will they realise it in time?

What do you think?

typical malaysian

There were still a number of people waiting after 5.30 today. Soon, all left. All but me. I was anxiously waiting for my mom. 6 o’clock came and went. And still I was the only one left waiting outside the desolated school. The few guards did not allay my fears as they seemed like kids in uniforms. There was a whiff of smoke coming from the guardhouse and I cringed involuntarily. Disgusting. At 6.15 I started to panic and called my mom, but instead of a calming response of ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be there soon,’ all I got was a nag on my safety, that she was stuck in a jam and would be late. It did not help that her piercing voice was accusing me of putting my safety at risk and at that point I couldn’t help wondering, would it not be the case if she came a little earlier? If other parents could, why couldn’t she?

And there I go, being a typical Malaysian. Always blaming the other party before myself. Surprisingly, I still remember a speech my ex-principal used to make. She blatantly told us not to be ‘typical Malaysian’s’ and to examine oneself before laying the blame on others. In other words, fix yourself before attempting to repair others. Mark my words, I have never been a real fan of the woman. When she taught me Geography in Form 1 the whole class struggled to stay awake, and only made the effort because she was an unknown entity at that time. Would she be nice, pleasant? Or an evil woman bent on destroying our pathetic lives? Who knew? But this year she retired, and I was on duty for the first time as Ed Board Photographer. Trust me when I say I wished I was sitting down, cheering for the sake of venting off surpressed energy in the form of useless screaming and cheering. Instead I had to strain my leg muscles. I got up and sat down repeatedly, it made me feel like a jack-in-a-box. Boing!

Coming back to the original story, my mom finally arrived at 6.30. I remember her telling me, ‘You don’t have to stay back everyday, just twice a week, for house practice.’ And I told her No. How will we get by with practice twice a week when every other team is doing it everyday as well? ‘Well, it’s not your responsibility.’ Yes it is, I’m part of the team! But then I thought, aren’t other people not staying back as requested? Damn them. Idiotic, Pig-Brained… Nevermind. ‘You only join cheerleading to please your friends.’ OK, that’s it. ‘No, I joined to please MYSELF.’ Haha, I don’t mind speaking my mind to my mom, especially when I feel its right.

I have to admit, our routine is nothing short of unusual. Really unusual, to put it mildly, but still challenging. The intro dance, the intro dance! I suck at it, I bet Wei Lin isn’t too happy either! I predict, and I solemnly swear I am not taking sides… That Maclay will win. Again. It doesn’t help that the Cooke’s are said to be using pretty similar props. Bah, who cares!? Green and Maclay are using the same song. Big deal. XD

I've come so far from the oversized balloon I used to be in my early childhood years. When I was a pre-teen I was some sort of a tomboy, then I was more girl. But still no skirts, none of that bullshit. But maybe, just maybe, it is time to change... I mean, I am a girl. Purses, handbags, skirts and makeup can't be illegal right?

Hahaha... This to-be-sixteen-year-old is going through a TRANSACTIONAL phase. I really have to be careful when I say this. This particular word nearly always rolls out as TRANSEXUAL when i least expect it. And it doesn't help that I keep telling people that I was born a bowling baby boy when my parents wanted a girl. Oh. right. Too much information. Please take a one minute break from this post if you should feel unwell. Keyboards do not do well when combined with excess food from the digestive system, or any excreted fluids from the body actually.

So I might change my blogskin, as and when I see fit. Since I'm so bloody useless at photoshopping, and don't have the program anyway, I'll have to use some other means of creating a new layout. Which is hard work darn it.

* * *

OK... I cannot seem to recall the 'How To Lose Your Boyfriend' thing... So sorry people! But hey, be creative! Explore new outlets of self-expression! Hahahaha. In other words, torture him to death. Ask him to get you a pad or something. XD

* * *

CLASS CAMWHORES!

Poker cards, Version 0.0001.

Why the toilets look so nice when taken by camera is still a mystery to me. Maybe its the photographer. =P

i wonder

There has always been something tugging my mind and heartstrings. It is often forgotten, but it resurfaces, especially after camps with strangers. When you go to a camp, and at first you are all alone, or with a sibling, you make some friends whom you feel really click with. And you think, well, I want these people to be in my life all the time. But somehow, everybody drifts apart, and as you lie in bed and stare at the merciless white ceiling, you wondered why it didn't last, when it all seemed perfect.

The 6th Kiwanis Youth Camp was what got me really thinking. It was probably because it was my first camp without the familiar faces and serene understanding. For the first time in my life, I was alone. But somehow they managed to open me up. I was 12, they were teens and early adults. Clicking was unnatural, but for me, it happened. And I promised that we would always stay in touch the day we parted... But we never did. Not anymore.

Even now, I feel my OBS friends flirting away with time. And we spent nearly every waking hour of 10 days together. It was OK for the first year after camp. And the second. Now... its starting to get awkward. I hate it. I really do.

I was just wondering... Just wondering. Will all the friendships I make outside end this way? Because if that's the case, then whats the damn point of making them. Or why bother going at all?? Isn't there anyone who would last?? Wait guys. Don't say anything. Time will tell... For now and always.

should be...

I am actually quite aware that people who frequent my blog may be greeted with dissapointment most days of the week since school started. For this I am truly sorry, and bear in mind that I shall try my best to continue a stream of posts rolling, at least once a week. Cheers!

~ + + + * * * + + + ~

Classroom life :
My teacher's are slave drivers (hui ning's line), especially the Math and Add Math teacher (I'm actually referring to one specific person here)!! Every class brings a new homework prospect, and so far, it hasn't failed us. Ever. How dissapointed they will be, when their high expectations come crashing down like a 20 foot solid brick wall right smack on their heads. First class indeed. We're all goodie goodies are we... Well Don't Be Dissapointed!!

Co-curricular life:
I deserve an award for most participation in history. Period. Let us do a checklist shall we boys and girls?

1) Librarian - Head of Carnival
2) Fencing - Assistant Secretary
3) Taekwondo - Assistant Secretary
4) Editorial Board - Photographer
5) Unit Bimbingan Sekolah - Assistant 'Biro Lawatan'
6) Shirtliff - Cheerleader and part time runner

Add that with homework, and you get chaos. Unparralelled chaos. But still, it's a life. Slow down? Never! Maybe next year ;)

Would like to take this opportunity to thank my parents, who have been super supportive (I know you read this mom), though I know its partially due to my success in managing my time last year. haha. Also to Wei Lin, Shirtliff's cheer captian and goodie friend... Thank you for understanding! Though I know its because you are a prefect with meetings as well *nudge*

Cheerleading :
I'm base! Woohoo!! But it wasn't so good on Friday, cause Mel and I didn't manage to get Zun Zen up properly. And now Mel says her mom won't let her join so there goes my partner. Crap. Never mind, still got Charlotte! And if the twins (Aimee and Charlotte) parents say they gotta go I'm gonna have a SDBF!!!! Hehehe, imagine what Wei Lin would have. Oh well, not gonna reveal too much here, there are spies everywhere *head pivots around neck*.

Note to self ---> Get Zun Zen up a bloody elevator comfortably before living Wei Lin's dream of cradling her!! Do not be a lousy base damn it!

~ + + + * * * + + + ~

5 WAYS TO GET A GUY OFF YOUR BACK

1. Stare right into his eyes for five seconds, then go 'You.Cannot.Be.Serious'

2. Break down emotionally. And I mean, REALLY emotionally. Hang to him for support as you cry your heart out and scream 'OMG, I can't believe it! You. Me. *snort* I fell so *hack* LUCKY!'.

3. Fake an asthma attack. Gasp and start hitting him. Say 'I can't breath!' while gasping for air. You might want to try strangling him for extra measure.

3. 'OK, but you'll be number 25 OK, because I like, can't remember your damn name. I'm not dull mind you, I just have to many.'

4. 'Excuse me, but I like girls.'
5. 'I'm sorry, I'm bisexual. Don't get me wrong, I really like you, but there's this really hot chick in the next class... And I can't get my eyes off her ass!'

ok, so that didn't work. And you're stuck with him. What next?? That should be coming up next, but here's a preview, cause I can only remember one. Damn...

After one hour, tell him, 'I'm sorry, this just isn't working.' XD

shopping with dad

Feeling : content. Well, I went to church, forgot which building the Bible Knowledge was and ending up calling Aunt Susan and was led into the church itself for a service fit for the majority of greying people. Spaced out a lot when the pastor was speaking. He wasn't boring, but I just couldn't help it.. I can't Focus! Met Christine on the way out, and she led me to the building, where we peeped like naughty girls into the sacred room filled with holy ones in groups all over the place. Managed to poke Pui Li who was looking for her car. She was like, 'Aileen! Where were you?! I waited, and looked and looked but I didn't see you!' Meh, I feel bad... Oh well, next week I'm sure to crash into their sacred class! mwahahahaaaa

Daddy took me shopping today. I know, its weird isn't it? A girl going shopping with her dad, and to top it off, I actually LIKE going shopping with my dad! Today after church, I realized that I outgrew my pair of normal bell-bottomed jeans so I casually said, 'Dad, I need normal jeans,' on my way to our miniscule lavatory. I wasn't actually hinting that I needed it super a.s.a.p., but when I was in my room, listening to my Walkman -which is fit to be exhibited in some international museum specially for ancient music devices, my dad came in and said 'Let's go out.' 'Why?' I asked. The bed is that comfortable. Wait.... Nevermind... FAST FORWARD!

OK, so the sub-bottom line is that I got

3 Levi's (the original mind you!!)
2 bell-bottom's which is booootiful! The straight cut is kinda weird, but I just got that to satisfy my daddy. He's so not into low-hanging, thigh-hugging, past-ankle pants. But I nearly always get it my way =P.

1 surfers pants from Bodyglove
I've always wanted those surfers pants which in my not-so-humble opinion, look so cool and slacky! I got a brown one, but maybe next time I'll get something pink, blue, yellow... or colourful! More of those with pweetie colours...

1 top from Bodyglove
Love that one too! sighhh

1 bag from Bodyglove
Dark brown with superb gold prints!

Hahaha, I love Bodyglove... It's cheap-ish (compare it to Roxy and Billabong OK?!) And the stuff is just so cool! Got this all from Jusco.. I didn't even know that they had a Bodyglove shop! It was kind of in a semi-secluded area, and it was my beloved father who led me to it XD. I'm just so ecstatic! I'm not a shopaholic, but getting new stuff does get the endorphines running! It's temporary though, because only God's love is eternal (see, I DO listen to the pastor). And so is my parents. And family. =D

anugerah.

I love school. We had this majlis today, and it was so like, toadally awesome XD! School photographers were reduced to about 2, cause me and Kelvin had to sit tight in the seats, but I still managed to take the speakers from that vantage point! And Kelvin had no more batteries in his camera. Its 7.2 megapixels! Damn him... Right, so.. many schools attended the event, all Cheras school's though, about 20 according to Mr Super Camera ><. But SBU has the most straight A's!! woohoooo! 84 people. SBS is close though, they come in second. Loved the awards ceremony... Love the cert, but not the books (Laws of Success and Petua Pelajar Cemerlang?? o.O) Fell head over heels for the MONEY! RM150 richer now, and I'm not sharing with any poor soul, no matter how pitiful! No, Back off!! Shoo! Hate the stupid water vapour fans, which was extremely annoying, and did not fulfil its purpose to cool the crowd. In my opinion, it made everybody icky, sticky and mucky. So not good. The school-by-school photo session was a blast! SBU, (of course) kicked it off. Needless to say.... WE ROCK!!! We did the Have You Got That Spirit cheer... Which proves that cheering is for everybody, and not just cheerleaders! Actually (giggles), Puan Norizan asked Maleni, who was behind her, to lead, but I caught her eye and we did it together, I think Hamizah and the gang helped... How else will we be heard over the cramped and milling crowd of 84 on the stage?? This is the cheer...
(Note to Ken and Sab : DON'T COPY! Or I will send you to the fiery pits of hell!)

Have you got that spirit?
Yea, man!
I say, Have you got that spirit?
Yea, man!
Let me see it in your arms! OOH AH, OOH AH AH! *does hand punches*

Shoot, it sounds so retarded here, but I swear it rocks! Infinitely and indescribably!

Sigh.... I love my school...

* * *

First and formost,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ZI KANG!! my dear 'grandpappy'...
and SATYA!!...
and ASYKAL!! will send prezzie at Taekwondo this Saturday!

* * *

Jian Hong, me, Vi-Jean

Oh, the retardedness! We belong in an asylum, Amirah and I.


You have been veeerie veeerie nottie...


SMILE! Let's take a break


Do random retarded faces, we shall.



ADVANCED CAMWHORING

Lesson 1 : the angel and the devil


devil and angel, version two.


Lesson 2 : kung fu moves

kung fu moves, version two


Lesson 3 : Rockin in the classroom!!


Lesson 4 : bully someone (why ME?!)


Lesson 5 : Hide - unsuccessfully


Lesson 6 : Be afraid, be very very afraid


love this one!!


Happy Birthday to Zi Kang again! Sorry for disturbing your homework, and not calling you at 12 last night!

* * *

THANK YOU...

Hamizah, for being our photographer when our hands were full (literally)

Vi-Jean and Amirah - 9 years and nothing has changed!

All the other camwhorers that did not get posted due to limited time!

3rd day....

Wow, I love Friday's. We still get to go home at 12.30p.m.! And we messed around a lot. We so proved that we are NOT brainiacs, whatever class the retarded administration saw fit to put us in! Myself, Hui Ning and Aimee were on our way to the bookshop, when we spotted Puan Halimahtus *loud, low music* inside! And we had no Pas Keluar, Aimee was a prefect... shoot. But then we spotted Ying Si's face at the door of the girl's changing room, beckoning to us like a madwoman.. So in we went. Hiding. Charlotte was there too... The irony of the situation! 4 Alpha and 1 Beta student, supposedly 'top students' hiding from our PK HEM in the changing room! Lots of stiffled giggles, wish I brought my camera XD.

I've decided that though I am condemned to hate BM for the rest of my life, I shall solely love my teacher, Puan Nursham.

Jangan risau... Ini tahun honeymoon kamu!

She's the first teacher who told us NOT to worry, and admitted that it was supposed to be a relaxing year... Just gotta love her. I solemnly swear (why is Amirah's Germanish line coming to mind? 0.O) never to fall asleep in Puan Nursham's class, not only because she's so bubbly, funny but serious at the same time, but also because she's a librarian teacher =X. So if I fall asleep my career is doomed. Condemned. SHAMED.

* * *

Enough of school! I came home today, deshrivelled and fatigued, when my grandma opened the grill, she said, 'Your Teacher Lina called,' in her little shrilly voice. My heart, already low and fluttering, went straight down to my bowels. Oh no. THE news. Did I get through my Diploma? Did I waste about a thousand moolah just to sit for it?? 'What did she say?'

YOU PASSED!

OMG, I was so elated, I literally screamed with joy outside of the house! I live in a five storey apartment, so I was sure my voice carried all the way to the top by its echoey walls. Who cares?! I got it!!! Well, its and either you get it or you don't thing... AND I GOT IT! Called VJ, called my teacher.. VJ scored higher by a little.. But hey. WHO CARES? I thought I totally flunked it. Bad. Never made more mistakes in my life of piano. But hey, life's pretty good now. Minus the homework. And crappy math and/or addmath teacher. =/

~little cammie peeps from the book flap of the piano and see's posey finger's struttin her stuff~

school-again

I was so happy to be back at school, I mean, I missed you guys so much! (you know who you are) And VJ and Michelle were behind the skylite, met them and started getting so excited we were talking and screaming at the same time. Everyone cut their hair, Michelle went to OBS (wish i was there!), and there was a lizard's tail beside Nethiya's bag or something?? o.O Well, scratch that part. The stage is obliterated, replaced by a low, tiled and.... pink one?? LOL. Easier for future performers to fall and break their skulls.

Lecture, lecture *yawn*, sing, talk, get stared down by Puan Khalilah on stage... Shut up. Assembly over. Talk some more. Hahahaha, we'll quite a bunch really. But after that we had to get sorted to our classes-I so thank God we're not on the fourth floor, we were all so hyped about taking it nice and easy this year, all filling into one class and destroying the labs, wrecking havoc... You get the gist. But they just had to jumble us all up, and I undeservedly ended up in Alpha. ALPHA! *waves giant neon sign* World reality check, top class? Muah? I'm doomed I tell you.. Doomed to the dark abyss at the end of the earth or something like that. Well, at least I get Hui Ning... The few saviours of our otherwise dull, studious, dead class will be

1) ME (duh!) XD and Hui Ning
2) Pui Ying and Huey Shan
3) Charlotte and Ying Si
4) Shazwi and Afeeq
5) Audrey (hope you don't end up anywhere near Syaira =X)

Without these people who happen to sit beside each other, I would've run screaming blood and tears to our Guru Penyelaras Ting 4 to change me... Not like I didn't try. But I was so bummed not to be in Beta, with Vi-Jean, Amirah, Michelle, Wei Lin, Zi Kang and urh... Kit Meng? Ah... WhatEver!

First homework of the year... Sejarah. First lesson I almost fell asleep on my desk....... Sejarah. Man, I hate Sejarah.

Sejarah Sucks!
All in favour of this say 'AYE!'




Add Math and Modern Math is hell on a all new bonus level...
All in favour say 'I suck' XD

new year

I have no idea how people celebrate the New Year, but I certainly don't. Unless splurging on back-to-school items count as celebrating. I got a new hairdo, which is nothing short of jaw-dropping. Honestly, I'm reliving my five to nine-year-old nightmare, when I was short, indescribably so flat, I was nearly a walking beach ball. And yes, I had a mushroom haircut. Which is exactly what I'm having now. Now. Please excuse me while I swim in the sea of my morose and self induced misery. What can I say, I loved my locks! *sulks*

But after that my mommy, lil tweet (aka lil bro) and I went to the Jaya Jusco at Wangsa Maju, somewhere we've never been. Ate at Delifrance, but in my opinion, it wasn't worth 60 bucks. I'm a bon vivant, and it doesn't take much to satisfy my food cravings... Oh well. So later we were off to The House of Leather, which is the place for school bags, - and other bags, especially travelling ones. Hey, Medoza bags can really stand the gruelling obstacles courses we put them through daily! And God knows how many books I carry. omg, I sound like such a nerd... >< But I saw this really nice bag, it was green, I like green, it matches my uniform. And it was just purr-fect for my dozen and one books, files, the deal. But i ALSO saw this sling bag (also green, har har) on the top it reads 'medoza-sport and active' and I fell hopelessly in love with that too! So I thought, its too much to ask of my mom, so I decided on the sling one, since my 3-year-old medoza backpack is still alive. But guess what, she was SO nice, she said that if I wanted them both she'd get them for me!! I'm so elated... But was grounded slightly by the sight of my head in the oh so reflective surface of the counter. Still, it was about RM 300 altogether so yes, I am oh-so-thankful. Straight A's does count for something eh? *wink*wink*

Couldn't find a camera shop of any kind there. What a mall! With only two floors at that. Bleeeeh. Making mental note to never step in there ever again except in very desperate times. Like, when I really need a pad? Ok, I don't know why I said that, but its the truth, so deal with it! eheee.

OH, SO


HAPPY NEW YEAR BUGGERS!

9th kyc day 4

I dreaded this day. I hate goodbyes, its oh so depressing, and I don’t handle depression well. Trudged back to the dorm with Brian, my whole body was aching, and we moved at a snails pace. It took absolutely an eternity to reach. When the rest caught up with us we were still halfway there! Talk about retardedness. Unfortunately the rest of the day sped through like a bullet train. Before we knew it we had another photo shoot with your 9^th KYC t-shirts. Then its off to the hall for the last time for Pursuit of Excellence, the last value. Mrs President gave a speech, and I bet many were struggling to pay attention and failing miserably. What really woke the crowd was when the lights dimmed and they played all the pictures of camp with music accompaniments. Plenty of laughs there.

Last was the Circle of Excellence, where all of us linked hands and was told to make eye contact (wth?). It was followed by dismissal and lots of hugs, and goodbyes.

4 hugs a day – survival

8 hugs a day – comfort

12 hugs a day – pure joy

Abi said Keith was SO going into my bus. I said, NO WAY. So we bet, and *drum rolls* I lost. I still owe her 10 buckeroonies then. Darn… But the bus ride was eventful, Ken and I struggled to finish Abi’s book, Megan Maede’s Guide to the McGowen Boys , and oh so falling flat on our faces. Camwhored a hell lot in the bus!

Andy sesat! Wrong bus yo! Nah, just kidding...

Me, Nisha, Vina.

~We are oh.so.CuTe! ehee~

Vina, Natalie, Nisha, Keith, Nicholas.

~ nice... formation (Nat must have pinched Keith =P) ~

~ WHOA... the bus is tilting! Hey... I can see my house from here XD ~

~ I think Ken gave Justin nightmares ~

So we reached our pick-up point all too soon… This calls for one thing, and only one thing! MORE HUGS AND PICTURES! Woot!

Justin, Nabilah, Iman, Sheryiin, Nicholas, 'somebody', Melody, Keith, Natalie, 'somebody'
~ SFs!! Gotta lurve em! ~

~ Ethan, your breath stinks! Poor Vina... haha ~

~ WORLD DOMINATION! cheerleaders rawk ~

The End

Woke up at 6. Decided to check out where the guys dorms were. Guys, don’t look at me like that… you know I wouldn’t do anything unwanted… I just wanted to SEE. So I made my way out of the females confined area and headed to the direction of my destination. I’ve seen guys go that way OK… Well, on the way something freaky happened. The fencing was zinc, and you know the loud, echoing sound zinc stuff makes when something collides into it? Well, I heard that. The alley was shrouded in semi-darkness, so I thought… OK, its those stupid cats fighting or sleep walking or something, nothing to worry about. Took a deep deep breath, and three steps later… BANG! I swear it was louder this time. To convince myself, I actually went to peer into that area but did not see anything, and as I looked, that part of the fence went BANG!!! Again… I was officially freaked out, so I half ran to the open area between the two dorms. At least there was light there, any somethings would have a hard time scaring me. So I stayed there, alone, trying to stop my heart enough so it doesn’t come out. Upwards, downwards or through my chest. Lol.

Stretching was in the hall, it was drizzling. Fortunately rafting and high ropes was still on. Cheers dominated the little ‘Oh man…’s’ First up was rafting. No problem, I mean, I’ve done this before. TWICE. Right?? OK… *holds two ends of rope* now where does this go? Oh, it was supposed to CONNECT the plank and barrel?? *blink* okok… Kok Kuan, Izzat and Julian ended up doing most of the work… Due to their uncanny ability to remember what-goes-where after the instructor showed us. We girls were still struggling on one end even after they’ve done the other three. And that didn’t turn out so well either, and had to be redone. Sigh… We so did try! Nevertheless we DID help whenever possible! It actually turned out quite sturdy, but the instructor just had to use our raft as a stage to shout out further instructions. My neighbourhood was holding our breath and biting fingernails, you could see the plank literally bend under pressure! Fortunately, it held.

The water, on the other hand, was brown to the extreme, and there was red oil actually visible on the surface. It was terrible. Ken said the waste products from camp actually go there… Urh, lets try not to think about it shall we? Our team was the last to kick off. At first we thought X-treme Survivors were just having trouble coordinating the paddles and positions or something, because they were moving an inch per minute! My team, especially Kok Kuan, was trying to be competitive and urged our team to go forward, ‘Cut them! Cut them la!’ he said. Idiot. I was literally the captian of this ship, and you all do what I say!! I told them NO. Absolutely not! Boost them, aren’t we in a Key Leader camp?! And guess what… the listened! Wow, OK, I never knew I had it in me XD… But still, the raft in front caused a super traffic jam for us, and I saw Ken shift his place, and Andy shouting… Actually, I think most of them were shouting themselves hoarse. Poor people… Turned out two of their barrels had holes in them! -sadness-

I AM SO PROUD OF THE GINGERBREAD MEN!

The only thing that got me irritated was the teams lack of enthusiasm on the cheering department. I feel so stupid, just trying to get them to cheer all the time. I will not let my neighbourhood be labeled as pathetic. Never.

High ropes was fun. It wasn’t nerve-wrecking at all! The only one that comes close to getting on my hopeless nerves was the Flying Fox… But I went down dangling with my left hand holding on for dear life, but it was fun! Albeit that I ended the thing facing the wrong way… I still have the rope burns on my wrist to prove the friction!

At lunch time we had a photoshoot with our Key Leader t-shirts. It was fun!! Brian was on my left and he had a slightly nasty experience… There was this fat guy who was literally STICKING TO HIM, top to bottom, the whole time. Talk about body contact! Later found out that Julian had the same experience too! Hey, when they said, ‘Closer, closer!’ to fit us all in the frame, I’m sure they didn’t mean THAT close >

Our lessons today included Respect and Building Community. We got to see Larry again today on the projector. I forgot his girlfriends name, but they were so sweet together. Oh, Larry is a mentally retarded person who lives in Befort Street, who collects money for charity, but doesn’t take any for himself. What an example of selfless service! Bless him…

Touched up on our skit today. It turns out that Speedy Gonzales is a little mouse thingy who’s Mexican and is real naughty. So since our value is Building Community, we decided to do a Powerpuff Girl thing. Yours truly is Mojo Jojo, who creates the ultimate killing machine!! Speedy Gonzales, played by Tzen, the little kid in the group (excellent job!). So Blossom (Izzat), Bubbles (Kok Kuan) and Buttercup (Julian) come to save the day! Unfortunately, they are brought to their arses and fail!! *evil laugh* So the beloved citizens of Townsville come to seek vengeance with fails, bottles and penyapu lidi. How touching. So… I die, yeah.

I AM SO PROUD OF THE GINGERBREAD MEN!

Best part was dancing to some hiphop song I don’t really know, Las Ketchup, YMCA, our beloved Chicken Dance, and the Cha Cha! Ken deliberately swung his ass into my hip and boy did it hurt like crazy!! I could swear my hip broke and I was decapacitated by his asses boniness. Wanted an encore but didn’t get it. *whines*

The Circle of Appreciation was very touching. I gave a lot of good stuff when I could, because Julian kept talking and talking, and when its my turn, (he sits to my left) he leaves me struggling to comment on something he HASN’T said. Sweatness. Henin was the first to cry, a lot of people sobbed, Tzen was complaining of hunger, as usual… I cried, but I was smiling because I’m just so proud of the Gingerbread Man! *hugs* Kok Kuan was totally freaky though, I refused to acknowledge that fact, but when it was my turn to hold the candle, he kept staring at me! Like, leaning forward to stare!! I tried to lower my head as low as it goes without burning my hair, but it was totally, irrevocably, freaky.

Couldn’t sleep that night. Spent most of the time chatting with Julian and Ee Huey at the land between dorms. Henin mostly listened… Whoops. We procrastinated like crazy about Kok Kuan!! And Julian and I talked about Genting… Stupid Pontianak haunted house XD. But we soon found ourselves back in the hall – last night no curfew man! The way it should be! I absolutely refused to go back to my dorm (the curse of laziness) there… between napping and snapping pictures to waking up at seven and joining Chuin Xin, Jacky, Melody and Justin talking dirty all night…

I can't believe Brian dragged me into this. I so just woke up! At 3a.m!

9th kyc day 2

Day 2

There was a strange melody playing somewhere. It was soft, but somehow it awoken me. I forced open my eyelids and looked around. College-girl's handphone is ringing an alarm. Apparently she heard it too, and turned it off. Saw the time – shit, five thirty?! What a nutcase. Tried to go back to sleep, unsuccessfully. The masjid blared like a loudspeaker with many serious bugs. They must all be deaf, coz only I woke up. I never knew the prayers lasted so freegin long. Deshrivelled and totally annoyed, I decided, Oh What The Heck… So I woke up.

We started off with yoga exercises. It was excruciatingly painful, especially so early in the morning. Plus, my neighbourhood-mate's foot very nearly jammed into my vocal projector. Otherwise, I pulled it off with as much grace and dignity as ever possible in my situation.

Next was X-treme Teams, where the obstacle course beside the hall was utilized. It was great fun, and our team had some bonding time. Something crucially needed. When we got our card, which told us which obstacle we have to do in order, Nabilah was ecstatic. We got all the easy-peasy ones! No Tarzan thing over the water filled with tadpoles, no carrying-huge-teddy-bear-on-precarious-beams, no Thrust Fall!! We literally laughed out loud. There was only one ‘victim’ in our team – me. My left foot got soaked in the water, while doing that stepping stone thing. I was one of the blindfolded, have mercy on me! All the while we were behind X-treme Survivors (Andy, Nisha and Ken’s team), they took an eternity to finish the obstacles. Oh but I have a confession to make. We stole their ideas and gave them a makeover XD. Maybe that’s why we finished so fast. After we were done we slouched (I hopped on one foot, one hand holding my dirt water saturated shoe) to a… a hut I guess, and watched the world go by… Literally. We saw Iman fall from the Tarzan rope again, and again, and again… and…. Again. Later Julian pointed out that he saw this guy with a yellow shirt with his team at the Thrust Fall section on the other end, he caught his teammate, and then he LET HER GO! She fell right smack on her arse. Ouch. He even pointed out the girl, hanging on to a friend and limping in one direction. We all went, ‘Oh. My. God.’ at the same time.

We had hours to kill, so my neighbourhood decided to do something about our sketch. Value : Building Community. Special Character : Speedy Gonzales. Oh, the brain-deadness! No one seemed to know who or what Speedy Gonzales is… And our SF was missing. We went through a few ideas (OK, it was actually just me and Ee Huey. Julian backed us up. Hey, you gotta love them) and an idea about theft and community heroism stuck. It’s the best we could come up with, since we don’t even know WHAT or WHO our main character is… Why oh why didn’t we get James Bond or Red Indians??

Right. So later in the hall we had our Listening lesson. Met Jasmynn there, and Jas, if you ever read this, just want you to know that you’re a superb listener! We also had Personality Styles, and we were divided into groups. Abi, Nisha, Ken, Vina (I think) and I just stuck with being Collaberaters, even through all the situations Heidi bombed at us. It was easier, less movement and confusion. We even said we were toadally sure about our decision(s). I don’t think Heidi was very convinced =/. Oh well.

We also had this brain activity. It was hard, and my brain wasn’t functioning. If my neighbourhood wasn’t right smack at center front I would have dropped it and lay on the floor or something. Invisible dirt be damned!

Borrowed Abi’s book and red it with my torch. College girl beside me is on with her boyfriend again. What ter do… but roll my eyes and read.

kyc day 1

Day 1

Right, was one of the earliest at the meeting point. Didn’t see anybody particularly interesting, so kept to myself… Smsing Julian (not camp one) who also happens to have a camp at the same date. Boohoo. Later Nisha, Abi and their cousin, Sujesh arrived, and I was like.. Hmm, nice looking people. Kudos to them for coming over to avert my attention from my brother, who is, as usual, successfully annoying me. So in the bus I sat with Nisha, and Andy with Sujesh… When *tadaa* we met Ken, who was the first to start walking around doing that seriously dumb exercise where random people have to answer stupid questions and sign. Such a challenge, keeping your balance while attemping polite conversation AND write.

I was sure the bus got half lost and we passed some MRSM school on the way. But we made it there in one piece anyways. The Student Faci’s (SF’s) were there, giving us a warm welcome… They waved while we were still in the bus so… I waved back? Natural reaction? Oh well. So we had this debriefing, we got our t-shirts, sheet, files (love it, my name is printed on!) *shows file with one hand and pokes it with the other*.

Right… so during break me and Nisha bumped into Ken. I was so ecstatic, because he’s a cheerleader! And, I mean, come on, guy cheerleaders in Malaysia can be counted with your fingers. Just an expression Ken XD! So we had cheerleader talk, and we did a few flips, he could do round-offs and a scorpion and I was insanely jealous. Poor Nisha and Praevina aka Vina were like ‘I don’t know what you guys are talking about.’ Oh, Ken did some real slutty moves on the pole, and Abi caught it on her phone. She promised it would go on YouTube so when I get wind that its up its coming on here. Stay tuned!

Later Heidi led us through the Captain game, which was supposed to be fast moving but it turned out… not so fast. The Chicken Shake was darn fun though. We also had this Birthday Game, where everybody had to line up according to their birthdays without talking! Easily brushed aside, I mean, we wrote our birthdays and showed it to people. Kekekeke…

So then we were sobered up by putting us in groups and totally separating us from everything familiar. Lucky Ken, Nisha and Andy, they’re like, in the same neighbourhood (team)! I got stuck with a bunch of people I don’t know, all whom were insanely quiet, and I’m like, God, Help Me! But we managed, somehow to come up with a name and cheer. My neighbourhood is Gingerbread Man! And our cheer is ‘Run, run, as fast as you can… You can’t catch us we’re the Gingerbread Men!’ I thought it was quite cute, really. But when we had to present it it all came crashing down. Badly. And I was the one with the mike! The Horror, the pure horror!

From left : Ee Huey, Henin, Yours Truly, Wan Yi, 'Speedy Gonzales', Kok Kuan, Izzat, Nabilah (SF), Ei Von, Julian.








Nightmare-ish.

I couldn't sleep that night. I regretted not bringing a book, any book. And this college girl beside me is talking and talking to her boyfriend ALL-NIGHT LONG. Even when I finally fell asleep at about 1 she was still talking. Honestly! No consideration for others. And she was the only one who couldn't sleep with the lights off so in the end, all of us, being so darn nice... Couldn't sleep. *procrascinates*

dead

I can't freegin sleep, and in less then 36 hours I managed to kill myself and hurt all the people that actually matter to me. Am I good at this? Very. I'm the best there is, second to none, I'm number one. This is so depressing... I'm actually contemplating suicide for the first time. Though I know I have absolutely no guts whatsoever to carry it out.

I am so so bad at making decisions in a relationship I should win a Nobel prize. Hmm, no, that doesn't sound right. I deserve to be burned in the fiery pit of hell for causing pain. I'm very good at that too.

Trying not to remember things or I'll never sleep. Not that it's a bad thing, not sleeping. When I stay up overnight I get sick. Down with fever. Yay. So I'll just stay home sick for Christmas. Do I care? Not a bit. I love drowning in guilt and misery caused by non other that yours truly. For once this blog skin echos my mood. Black, dark, and empty.

What better way to end the holiday season. Julian is not talking to me, my best friend thinks I'm crazy and Keith begging me to stay.



I THINK I'LL GO RUIN MORE LIVES NOW. CHEERS.

omg

Man, 7 days to my piano exam. Not really nervous though... lalala.


Omigosh, read Kenneth's blog just now. Totally terrible, terrible. Well, I shan't tell his story, go to his blog and you'll see. But God, its just, disgusting.

Can't say much here, because I feel like cursing, and if I did, I'd have to censor everything here. Oooh, but I just have to say a few words.

The NERVE. How do they breed kids these days huh?




Oh, nevermind, just read his blog.




READ IT!

genting

Cenfad College of Art and Design
11th November 2006.

~ First graffiti attempt. Not too shabby eh? ~











Genting City of Entertainment
21st and 23rd November 2006

~ View from my hotel window. Breathtaking ~








~ Oh No, the books are attacking me! ~








~ show off's... ~








~ Wheeeee. Go-karting! ~








~ One hour later... ~

It's gotta start moving sometime...

It's slow alright. 10mph, sad-nyer...








~ Andy, stuck forever. Mwahahahaha ~








~ The End ~




I sat on the Flying Coaster for 5 rounds straight.
Andy nearly puked and kept swearing.
If I died here, at least its closer to heaven.
God forbid suicide.

I sat on the Astro something-something twice.
I'm flying!!

Went on the Corkscrew once.
Man, I think I left my guts up there.

Saw Mysteria.
Awesome-est show ever. And the most $$.
Guys danced like gays. - very gracefully.




HOME SWEET HOME
*sigh*