here we go again

Here comes that time of the year again...
Time to redesign a new layout
Over time I got sick of taking layouts from blogskins.com
I needed more individuality
Something that was ME.

ME, MYSELF, I.

Here comes that time of the year again...
Where I attempt to create my own
And all I succeed in getting

Is a DARN HEADACHE

Kudos to me ><

If i wrote

If I were to write the story of my birth, it wouldn’t be a first hand account. I don’t remember anything. It would have come from my mother, my father, or my aunt.

If I were to write the story of my childhood, I’d say it was carefree. But I made mistakes then. I broke my wrist playing on the monkey bar. Grazed myself a dozen times or more and brought many playmates to the dirt with me.

If I were to write a story of my teens, it would be colorful. There would be joy and happiness, elation and adrenaline, hurt and pain, laughter and tears. But its not complete.

If I were to write a story of my adulthood, -well, I can’t. *laughs*

If I were to write a story of my life, it will be MeSSy, because I can’t plan. It would be a literary eyesore and a headache for few.

If I were to write a story of my life, it would be long and winding. It would bore everyone to death, because I don’t write for their pleasure. There would be a lot of questions, but I will not answer, because it’s not for them to know.

If I were to write a story of my life, it would never end. Because I wouldn’t live in time to finish it.

My death?

I haven’t died. How should I know?!

Review

Right. Life goes on... I'm still muled over Twilight. Though not as insanely, crazily, nearly unexplainably addicted to it as I was before, but still, I think it was the best book ever published. Shame isn't it? Just a few weeks before I though Eragon and Eldest were the thing.

So anyway, since reading the book, I've been itching to get my hands on New Moon, the second edition. Each time I passed a bookstore I would automatically search for Twilight, hoping that New Moon would accompany it on the shelves, like a perfect couple. OK, not couple, because Midnight Sun is really the bethrothed of Twilight. For you dunderheads out there (just kidding), Twilight is the main version, Bella's version, the girl side of the story. Midnight Sun, however is the... how shall I put it, the sub-version. Its the exact same storyline, exact sequence of events, but this time, Edward (also the main character) is the story-teller.

I shall launch into review, (hey, I'm sure thats not violating the copyrights). Let's start with Twilight. (ehem)

Isabella Marie Swan (Bella) chooses to move to Forks, Washington to live with her dad even though she positively detesses that place. Her mom, (Rene'e) just got remarried to Phil, who is a minor league basketball player and the two of them are off to Florida to get Phil signed up. So off she goes to live it out with Charlie (her dad).

Charlie gets her a red truck, which she is fond off, signs her up for Forks High School.

First impression Edward presented was not so good. They had Biology together, and he gave her a totally antagonist look, and stiffened throughout the whole class. He never relaxed and dashed out when it ended.

All in all, they got together. I shall refrain from further analysis for the fear of bugging innocent readers. They were happy UNTIL James came into the picture. He spotted Bella with the Cullens (Edward's family) and wanted to attack her. Naturally, Edward stepped in front of her and a growling match started. Apparently, James was a tracker, so when Edward stepped up to defend Bella, and the rest of the Cullen's were also intent on protecting this silly human. To him, it was a game, and with Edward, it was even more fun. A challenge.

And so a cat and mouse chase begins. Edward has to leave Bella for a while, to lead James off her trail. Jame's mate, Victoria, was circling Bella's house, and Esme and Rosalie were at Forks, keeping an eye on her dad. But James was one step ahead. He tricked Bella into leaving the vampire's with the threat that he had her mom. It was a trap. Bella suffered 4 broken ribs, a broken leg, a few cracks on the skull and bruises everywhere before Edward came. Well, what did you expect? The hero HAS to arrive right? So that's just about it.

Oh, Bella is afraid of getting old while Edward stays young forever. She's paranoid, in fact. She wants to be with him forever. (God, that sounded corny) But Edward was having none of it. He forcefully refuses to even consider it. So there. The story ends. Sad though, life for them would have been a lot easier if Edward wasn't such a thinker....

I have decided not to post Twilight due to copyright reasons. As reminded by my friend, Amirah. Thank you dear. Sorry folks!

Twilight

Seriously, I feel like I'm promoting the book. But just in any case, the story was so beautiful it touched me. So I just have the urge to share the love.

Twilight will be posted, word by word.

Exactly as told by Stephanie Meyer in the first of a series.


Isabella Swan, (mostly known as Bella), decides to move from sunny Phoenix, Arizona to rainy Forks, Washington to live with her father, who she has not spent time with in years. Bella does this to enable her mother to travel with her new husband, a minor league baseball player. Never having had many friends before, at Bella's new school she is quickly accepted, and finds she has several boys competing for her attention. However, Bella continues to hate the town, which is too different from her home in Phoenix. The exception is Edward Cullen, the beautiful and mysterious boy she sits next to in her biology class. The enigmatic Cullen family, all of whom are beautiful enough to be models, have the reputation of being very reserved and clannish. From her first experience with Edward, when he flashes her a look of pure hatred, to his attempts to be moved from Bella's class, she finds herself unable to stop thinking of him. Through careful observation, Bella realizes that Edward is not quite normal, but despite having many theories cannot bring herself to believe that there is a supernatural explanation for Edward's behavior.

Boyfriend

It was first day of the mid-year exams, therefore i finished school a little earlier, i called him,

:Hey, i finished school earlier today, would you come by and pick me up?


:Alright, give me 5 minutes.


:5 minutes? But my school is just beside your house.


:I need to get ready.


:Alright, make it fast then.


2pm in the afternoon, the sun is extremely hot, I stood under a shaded tree and fan myself.


Although it doesn't make much of a difference, it was better that I fanned.


5 minutes have passed, he's still did not shown up, I was a lil' unhappy while looking at my watch.


10 minutes and he's still not here....could it be that he was met with an accident?


15 minutes passed, and he finally shown up.


:Why are you so late?


He wasn't even the least bothered: Nahz, was watching TV.


:What?! TV?! Why don't you sleep, bathe and eat before you come down then?


I haven't got anything else to say for that, didn't take the helmet he handed me but stood there and stared at him.


:Sorry.


This was the first time he said sorry to me...


He is an egoistical person all along and has never once apologised to a girl.


I looked at him, Alright, took the helmet and let him sent me home.


He is always acting like this, no explanations, no friction, no quarrels.


The only thing he does is to apologise. To me, somethings can't be settled with a sorry.


I would never go on asking after everytime he apologises.


He told me, that was the first time he said sorry to a girl.


Although it take courage to admit mistakes, he never once corrected his mistakes.


Saying sorry became a word to shut me up instead.


Tears flowed down my cheeks on the 59th time he apologised.


I dropped my head: you don't ever need to say sorry to me again.


If you can never change, then don't let me keep giving you chances again and again hoping and believing that you will change each time.


He held me lightly, and said the 60th sorry.


Even then, he did not change, and there was no explanation whatsoever.


I began to worry if there was something he was keeping from me.


:What's wrong with you these few days?


:Nothing.


:Then why are you acting so strange?


:I am not.


:What can you say other than this answer? Do you know that I'm very worried, very insecure. Do you treat me as your girlfriend?


:I'm sorry...


:I don't want to hear you say sorry again.


I put down the phone. He did not call back.


He doesn't even care about me. Maybe we should....break up.


.....this was the 99th time he said sorry...


From that day onwards, I never once called me or went to look for him.


Sometimes I get an anonymous phone call


but everytime I said hello, it was dead, i think it's a call from him, but why doesn't he speak up?


After one month have passed, I couldn't contain the feelings I still had for him anymore and went to his school to find him.


I waited outside his classroom and looked around, but there was no sign of him.


:excuse me, is XOXO here today?


:I'm afraid he already stopped schooling.


:Huh? Why? When was that?


:He hasn't been in school for a month already.


:Oh erms...thanks.


One month....not in school for one month...why is that so? I stumbled home.


Called his hp: Sorry the caller is currently unavailable, please leave your message after the tone....


I put down the phone, and called his house next, but there was no answer.


How can it be? The whole family migrated?


It seems as though he has already disappeared from the face on the earth leaving and not even a single trace.


I couldn't find him....just as I was feeling distraughted, the phone suddenly sounded, it was my friend.


He was one of his brothers and also my good friend.


:Hey, what have you been doing? XOXO is in hospital.


:REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED?


:Oh he is in ZZ hospital, the one you stayed in last time.


:I'll be right there.


I used the fastest speed my legs could carry and when I reached the hospital I saw that his parents were already there.


I asked them for the room number and flew across the hall.


He was lying on bed, looking at me, not saying a word, not moving a muscle,


:Hey, what happened to you? Why didn't you contact me?


He did not answer, and used the same stare on me again.


:Come on answer me...why don't you speak?


A tear flowed down the side of his eye, and it looked as though he used the greatest amount of strength that he could master to say...


:I'm...sorry...


After that, his eyes went shut.


:Hey, don't fool around alright...why say sorry to me? Don't say sorry to me....please wake up....answer me please.


I wept and fell down on the side of his bed, pulling his shirt as I cried out..


:Why do you have to apologise? Why don't you give me an explanation instead? I won't forgive you, wake up, saying sorry is no use...


:If you don't wake up I'll never ever forgive you in this lifetime, please I beg of you..open your eyes.....


That was the 100th sorry


A group of medical staff, doctors, nurses pulled me away and tried to revive him. I had no strength to stand up...


My mind was a blank.... my eyes could only see a sea of black.


He did not leave this world...I merely lost the chance to touch him anymore.


But he would appear in my dreams sometimes, telling me how he was doing.


He's still accompaning me, still alive, in my heart.


He would still laugh at my silliness, and call me his darling....just that...he never apologise to me anymore.


After a month, his mom came to look for me, and gave me a box...inside was


a 100 photographs, everyone had a story behind them..the reasons why he made me angry.


The first time, my dear, I did not purposely arrive late to pick you up.


I know this excuse is really lame, but I didn't have the heart to tell you the truth then,


before I stepped out of the house, I felt a pain in my chest, but I still made it a point to meet you, please forgive me?


The second time, my dear, I...


The third time, my dear, I...


The 100th time, my dear, I didn't mean to leave you alone in this world,


It had to be so because God did not give me the chance to say I Love You for this lifetime of mine, and to put the ring on your finger....


You are the first girl I apologised to.


And also the first girl I want to be with for the rest of my life...


Forgive me for not able to bring you happiness but I have thus become your angel, always looking out for you...


Looking at you while you find your happiness...promise me...don't shed a tear...


I don't want to see you weep like this for me, I Love You ~XOXO


How can I not cry? What you said was just too impossible.


The last photograph was of him in the hospital,


Although he was skinny, the smile on his face was bright as ever.


His face was white and yet he tried his best to give his last smile on the last photo, the 100th.


At the time when he needed me the most, I wasn't with him.


:I'm sorry.


I held the photo tightly and cried for us.....





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This story was taken from a chinese letter from my pen-pal i knew long ago, this was her story but unfortuanately, I cant show her pictures or her boyfriend nor their names. it was in chinese i took awhile to translate the words....if there's some grammatical or spelling mistakes i'm sorry ok? I've tried my best...it was traditional chinese...the taiwanese type.

I guess everything comes with a reason...but what's the point of driving it out of someone if it's something you don't want to hear in the first place? "I want the truth" ---so easy to say but so difficult to accept.

Note : I received this chain letter as an email. This person has no connections whatsoever with me. Aileen. I know this sounds cheesy, but what can I say? I'm just a girl right?

Part 3

On the roof, a silent figure sat up, her expression unreadable. Soon they would find her. Releasing a soft sigh, she stood up. With a resolute look in her eyes, she prepared herself for the greatest journey. My job here is done, she thought. But I must admit, I am rather fed up with this arrangement. She chuckled at this thought. The ledge felt cool to the touch of her feet. Balancing gracefully, she took a moment to take a deep breath. Not out of fear, she was savoring the moment. Then, with another sigh, she tipped over the edge.

Her body was never found.

‘You have done well, my child,’ the Old One regarded her smilingly. ‘I did as I was told,’ Brenda said softly, looking down. They were in a vast library, filled with scrolls. At one of the many tables there, -which was merely a floating top with no visible legs- the old man continued his writing. He looked up suddenly, frowning. ‘How shall I categorize you? A crazy human, a fallen angel, or something more exotic?’ He chuckled. But his expression soon became serious. ‘You played your part well at first. The council almost approved of giving you a second chance. What happened?’ It was a questioned that had to be answered. Brenda took a deep breath, composing her thoughts. This was not going to be easy. ‘I prefer to stay here, with him.’ ‘Ah…’ the Old One mused, contemplating. ‘I admit, They have been a little rough on you, making you watch him die again.’ A gong resonated in the still silence. ‘Come.’

There's an epilogue... =P

alone-p2

Part 2

‘Brenda, come here sweetheart’. A voice, as lovely as the woman who speaks them, calls a child, disturbing her play. She turns to the sound of her mother’s voice, and runs to her. Arms opened wide, ready to embrace, closes on thin air. Brenda opens her eyes to find herself, in a cemetery. Two tombstones block her way. They read, “Forever loved.” Below, was her parents name, engraved in gold. Blinded by tears, she runs away. She runs until she cannot stand it. The last thing she saw was the pale blue sky.

Young Brenda opens her eyes to find herself in a room. Sweet smells fill her nostrils, a smell of sweet fragrance fills the room. Enough to make its presence known, but not as intrusive as the choking smell of cologne. Then there was another smell, a smell that made her aware of the hunger than gnawed her insides. Cooking. The aromatic smell of food on a stove. She had awoken in an orphanage. Days, months, and years flew by. Then there was a boy, but he soon passed away of leukemia. Numbed, Brenda confined herself to her bedroom. She only left to pass motion, food was brought in by the matron. Most of the time, it was ignored. An autumn later, she left for the first time, to visit her sweetheart’s grave. She returned to find the beautiful building blackened, destroyed, burned. All that was left was its horrid skeleton. Since then, she was brought to the asylum.

In that white building, with smiling people, He often came to her, speaking soft, soothing words that eased the turmoil in her empty soul. She never saw his face, but she didn’t need to, his words were more than enough. Soon, she started speaking to him as well, and was replied, most of the time. Meals were slipped in thrice a day, and recreation times were spent in isolation. The psychiatrists were worried. She alone had not learnt to interact with another humanly being. So they decided to get rid of Him. It was for her own good, it would help her get better.

To Be Continued...

alone-p1

Part One

The door swung open easily at the touch of her hand. Chill wind caresses her face and brings life to her hair. Around her, shadows stand out everywhere. But she ignores them, they are only stationary objects, appearing darker than the night. Down below, horns and traffic pollute the streets, but up here, they sound magically muffled. It is almost quiet. Peaceful. But all this does not register in Brenda’s mind. Darkness seems thicker around this girl. Her hospital gown blows around in the freezing wind, yet, all feeling seems to have left her. She stares into the hills, now just dark blotches against the starry night.

It’s impossible to gauge her expression, for her porcelain face was blank, shoulders slack. It was a pose she readily stuck to, day after day.

However, in a moment that impression was gone. Her jaw was set, and her eyes sparkled with tears. No one will understand. She needed Him, no one else. With no family, no friends, He was the only one who she could cling to. I hate them, what did they do to you, my friend? What did they tell you, to make you go? They must have forced you, you would never leave me. Never.

To be continued

World trade center

World Trade Center - The United State's dramatization of the September 11th bombings. It just goes to show how much they pride their ego's. Only this part of the world would even consider making money out of a tragidy, no? Did any country make a gimmick out of the December 26th tsunami which hit Southeast Asia and even devestated coasts of Africa? Nobody is making a really big fuss about it now, the news has died down. Let the dead lie, and the living continue in peace. Compared to the September 11th bombings, that was quite a minor accident. Just look at the number of people who died? I've no need to state the facts, any civilised person would have been able to gauge the difference in numbers. Only the Americans are still making a big hoo-ha about all this.

And have you noticed where this has lead to? What's with all this publicity? Doesn't this veto country have enough funds to cover the damages? They are all pointing fingers at the Afghanistan terrorists, perhaps demanding justice. What about all those innocent lives they took while their troops marched over the Middle East, in particular, Afghanistan, and took not only lives of the soldiers, but also innocent women, children. It is only logical that they fight back. After all, do we see Afghanistans reporting to the whole world how they have been mistreated? Well, maybe they have been cases, but yet again, it is a meagre comparison to the United States. It goes to show that every year since then, there has been at least one meeting where the terrors of Afghanistan have been mentioned. Especially by You-Know-Who.

To put it mildly, I, for one, do not understand the nessesity of making such a big fuss. Sure, a few lives have been lost, national security is challenged. But what they do not realise is that THEY started all this. THEY invaded Iraq with accusations of possessing dangerous nuclear weapons. THEY bombed buildings and destroyed their land. THEY took lives of innocents. THEY were the flint to the match. THEY struck it, and started a fire. How would any human feel if their country was ravanged and fingers pointed on their chests. Being backed into a corner, they did all that there was left to do... They fought back. World Trade Center-A True Story of Courage and Survival? You decide.

Excuses and PMR

Well, well, well, PMR is over! However, I someone to remind me that there are other things worth living for besides studying. I swear, They brainwashed me! I escaped. Barely. For the last paper I was so fidgety, I don't think I payed enough attention. The teacher took F-O-R-E-V-E-R to collect and count the papers. The opposite room was already filing out when she was steadily counting our papers. As if she'll find more or less than 25. Didn't she have enough time to count and recount the number of prisoners for the last one and half hours??

Blog is officially reopened... Due to expected over-boredom, I may change the layout soon. Cheers!