makes me wonder

It's not easy when I miss you

Coz I never know if you're missing me back

It's not easy when I tell my friends I do

Because they'll ask 'Doesn't he sms or call?'

and I have to say no.

People ask me if I'm with you And I tell them 'I dunno'
Even if I so badly want to tell them 'yes'

All the little things you do for me

And think I never realised,

because I'm not good with words

All those little cryptic personal messages

I can't help thinking they're about me, for me

But then, what if they aren't?

It's all the things that you do
And the things you never did

Its hard not knowing if you cared...

Not knowing if it was worth waiting

What if you kept me waiting forever?

Maybe you do love me

But if you did

Why haven't you told me?

Maybe you cared

But why wasn't I informed?

There were signs........

But what if I was wrong?

You can't expect me to ask again
Once is enough

Recently I sat in a cinema

Watching the couple in front embrace

Wishing you were there

But I guess, you wouldn't have done anything anyway

I used to tell myself

That I would be happy, even if we were just friends

Well...

I'm not so sure anymore

That day when I said I hated you
I did
I hated you for keeping me waiting
But come to think of it
Maybe I just hated myself
For being a dumb ass

I tried not talking to you Just to see

If you would do something about it

I ended up starting the conversation anyway

But its those things....
Like forgetting my birthday
Ending sms conversations abruptly
All the little things
You did
And didn't do
It makes me wonder...
Do you even care?
Or does it seem like I'm the only one trying?

If you wanted me, you should let me know
If you don't, you'd better let me know

You tell me I work too hard

But did you know? I was trying to get you out of my head

It actually doesn't work

Coz everytime I lay down to rest

It hits me so hard.....

I cry...

Behind the humor, I'm sad
Sad because I don't know
I don't who why I've been waiting so long
Not really knowing what I was waiting for

I write this stupid thing that you might never read. But if you do I hope you realise that there is this void that has been reserved, and I can't seem to fill it up with anything else, no matter what I do. There's all this confusion in me, not knowing if you felt the same... And I can't seem to channel it anywhere else.