I Want To Retire

Going to school for marks is the bottom most priority in my life now. Cause after exams, I'm no less busy. As always. These days I'm just filled with tension, so much to do, and when I do, it don't always go right.

I'm sick of shouting till my voice rasps but nobody LISTENS. And why in the first place, do I have to be the one to tell you guys what to do? If you see me bending down and cleaning, just help me. Even after a healthy dose of sarcasm which nobody seems to understand, you stand around, and then you walk away. I don't deserve this shit. After all the planning, just so YOU could have fun. Don't you know when to stop?! Never again, that game. NEVER. I went home and literally lay lifeless on my bed for a full hour without the will or strength to pull myself up. Not after all the running around I've been doing all day...

But I'm not one to hold long grudges or anger. So I woke up on the right side of the bed thinking 'Nah, maybe I won't shout at them today.' But you guys just had to ruin it for me again. Not one of you is going to the November camp. What kind of idiot will I look like, huh? So I just HAVE to mention one name.

Shukran. I was this *brings thumb and index together* close to actually hitting him with that thick newspaper stick that just happened to be there. Oh God, shouldn't have typed that, the itch to hit something (or someONE) is killing me. KYC-ers, you'd be mad too, if you had a bad day, and heard this :-

Ass : So, how much is it?
Me : 180
Ass : *gasp* so expensive...
Me : No la, its pretty cheap for 3 days 2 nights
Ass : Oh then.. Yerh, so cheapskate.

Okay it doesn't sound so impressive here. Probably the result of mounting resentment that was stored away in the corner for so long. Oh, my rebuttal was 'You'd better watch your mouth. One day, its gonna get you into trouble.'

And he'd better count his ball gods for my patience. I only blew after he left, but I bet they all heard it. It just happened, the stick was in my hand, which was about a meter and a half way, in a fraction of a second, it made contact with the counter. All in one swift movement. And it hit real hard. I forgot how strong I could be ><... Thank goodness there was only one witness, and she understands.

Unfortunately, thats part of the tension. But I guess my ranting is boring enough.


Amanda can't run no more! Some bone injury from over exercising... She could have run around the world - twice. Stay strong girl.

Oh Zen, I can't post it. It's in PDF form and it's super long. Sorry!




Oh, my camera rosak, so no pics, not for a pretty long time ><